Day 1
I write this lying atop my human mattress. The human is soft and squishy in some places but hopelessly skeletal in others. I’ve been trying to remedy this horrific lack of concistency by stealthily massaging the squishy bits into the skeletal bits. Unfortunately, it didn’t take. Humans, afterall, cannot be expected to function as well as cats do. So I’ve taken a different route.
I’ve been quietly dropping off offerings of the many kills I make on my nightly prowls at her doorstep as a reminder to her that if she must serve me well as a cat mattress, she must put on weight in the right places.
Alas, the human
Day 1
I write this lying atop my human mattress. The human is soft and squishy in some places but hopelessly skeletal in others. I’ve been trying to remedy this horrific lack of concistency by stealthily massaging the squishy bits into the skeletal bits. Unfortunately, it didn’t take. Humans, afterall, cannot be expected to function as well as cats do. So I’ve taken a different route.
I’ve been quietly dropping off offerings of the many kills I make on my nightly prowls at her doorstep as a reminder to her that if she must serve me well as a cat mattress, she must put on weight in the right places.
Alas, the human